Hi dragonwoman -

This is a "Game of Thrones"  review.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity, and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinions and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

The reason I chose this particular story/poem: I chose this particular piece because of the description, it sounded interesting.

My opinion of said story/poem: As if a dragon with a cold isn't bad enough, you have a dragon that breathes fire with a cold!

In paragraph seven, I'm not sure if it's just me, but, you have "the flight laughs at me". Did you mean "the flight instructor laughs at me" or am I missing something? Not sure what else "the flight" could be though.

Paragraphs sixteen and seventeen - you have Simon's dialogue, then Goody's response in the same paragraph, and then another response from Goody in the next paragraph. The two responses from Goody don't seem to go together very well, at least not the way they are currently written. In any case, they should be put together in the same paragraph. Maybe a melding of the two.

The pace of the story moves along nicely and there are no spelling errors, just a nice little piece of flash fiction.

Conclusion: It's a cute little tale. The storyline is such that it could be expanded slightly, like maybe a children's book, the pictures themselves would sell it. Children love dragons, a sick dragon they would have to see.

Write on!

Thanks much,
Lovina




Your work was rated using the guidelines from:

Comment-In-A-Box  (E) My view on and methods of rating items on Writing.Com. #544247 by The StoryMistress

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .