"Game of Thrones"  "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 



Hi Joseph

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Barney Investigates the Haunted Mansion

First Impression: Was this intended to be a series of short stories? The ending feels like the story isn't finished yet. Did you watch the Andy Griffith Show when it was Don Knotts because your character feels more like his behavior than when Jack Burns replaced him.

What needs your attention: It's a bit confusing with all the characters either being by their names and other characters being Mr. Cody Casper. Consistency helps.

What part I liked best: Barney standing outside the mansion looking at ivy shrouding the mansion debating his next move but then the shadow caught his eye and he decided to do his job despite being a bundle of nerves.

Overall impression: The story began as a mystery but soon evolved to multiple murders that were left which made the reader wonder where's the rest of the story? The character, Barney felt like the character from the series this story is paralleling.
For this reader a more tense ending would have the story to the next level Like have Barney radio Andy as the scythe crashed the windshield, maybe dropping the mic and throwing the car in reverse. Just food for thought Thank you for sharing your work.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .