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 Review #4742279 |
| Hallo dragonwoman  ! I will be reviewing your work "Invalid Item"  on behalf of "House Targaryen Points" for "Game of Thrones"  Content: This appears to be a short story written for a contest as deduced from the bolded section within. Calling upon the beloved characters of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson (or are they?) they are again set to solve a crime with a very interesting little twist. Pluses:Okay, so you had me doing a double take when I read the first few lines. I actually started wondering if Sherlock had a brother named 'John' that I might have missed all this time.  Clever of you to switch the names around to throw off aficionados of the books.In this story, there's a strange message received, which simply says - Nobody Saw Anything - which I can assume is the prompt given for this story. Kudos on being able to use it to the fullest in quite a unique way. It could be so easy to go the easy route of folks actually witnessing the crime and lying about it, but in this case, our witnesses are indeed blind; so yes, there's definitely no way anyone could have literally seen anything. And then there's the dialogue itself. Despite the change of names, you still managed to capture the personalities of those beloved characters, especially with - “Come along, the game’s afoot!” - Ah, pity the most common of phrases did not show up. You know the one.  As always Watson (Holmes) is one step ahead in being able to solve this crime as he decides to do what makes sense - interview the blind people for their testimonies. They might be visually-impaired, but they aren't deaf. The last line does emphasis that to Lestrade. Suggestions:Here are a few things I noticed while reading. Please remember that these are only my suggestions/opinions and it's ultimately up to you to choose what works best. None come to mind as this was a well-written flash fiction story that made good use of the prompt.    Thanks for sharing with us, and keep on writing!    Disclaimer: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 04/06/2024 @ 2:56pm EDT