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Review #4742477
Viewing a review of:
 Mira's Fire Open in new Window. [E]
Three content creators find more than they planed.
by Foxtrot Victor Author Icon
Review of Mira's Fire  Open in new Window.
Review by NaNoKit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Kit's Contest and Awards G...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Foxtrot Victor Author Icon,

Happy Anniversary Month! This review is a part of "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window. [13+]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

It isn't always easy to set the mood, establish characters and put a satisfying amount of action into a piece of this size, but I think that you did well here. I don't know if you were writing to a prompt or not, but the concept is interesting.

The story begins by setting the scene - the swamps and ancient trees and a place that the locals have long known to stay far away from. You then contrast this with a contemporary theme - the young YouTubers who pay no mind to old knowledge; they want their views and likes and subscriptions and will see for themselves if the legends are true.

Well, sometimes there's a reason why the locals stay away, and the influencers are about to find out why. As said, you did well with the concept, and it made for an enjoyable read. Good job!

Suggestions:

I do have a couple of suggestions, dear author. I hope that you'll find them helpful!

Paragraph 5:

*Snow2* “Guys… You need to get over here…”

As 'Guys' isn't a complete sentence, I suggest going for "Guys, you need to get over here..."

Paragraph 12:

*Snow2* “Come to me, child.” The flaming female form beckons.

This may just be me, but I can picture this better when the gesture is made before the words are spoken. So: The flaming female form beckons. "Come to me, child."

My Rating:

This is a cool little story. I enjoyed the read.

I did have a couple of suggestions. Nothing major, though. Therefore, I will give this item a rating of 4.5 out of 5.

Thank you for sharing your work.

Write on!

Kit

House Lannister image for G.o.T.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.



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