"Game of Thrones"  "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 



Hi Elizabeth

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Night Terrors

First Impression: There's nothing worse than trying to function when you're sleep deprived. The author reminded me of times when I have had horrible nightmares and had to go to work the next day feeling totally exhausted.

What needs your attention:
I drove school bus 31 years and when it is foggy driving with your headlights on high beam makes it more difficult to see. I suggest you consider lowering the lights , it will still serve your story's path.
My second suggestion is about the streets filled with fog sounds strange. You could easily say the the streets shrouded with fog.

What part I liked best: I talk myself into seeing a doctor and then promptly dismiss the idea. I thought the internal dialogue worked well in the situation. I've driven to watch the sunrise over the ocean many times. There's nothing more calming to the mind and soul.

Overall impression: The author introduced us to Suzanna who was struggling with sleep deprivation and shouldn't have been behind the wheel of a car. Unfortunately for Suzanna her dream of .doom came true
I realize it's a flash fiction piece but this reader felt the ending was abrupt and could have been tweaked out more by eliminating some unnecessary words. Ditch some of the and's and simple make some of the sentences fly solo. The nightmare came every night. She woke at five am daily as a result. There's other places to do the same.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .