Hi Kiya! Oh my gosh, I didn't know you write such scary stories! Your story sounds like it could be made into a movie that my husband would love to watch! It seems too violent for me!

I thought your descriptions set the scene well, in this story of death, bloodshed and torture.

You introduced your main character nicely. I could feel his terror, as he sloughed through filth and mud after the days on end of torrential downpours. I got chills while thinking about the incredible cold which poor Jakob had to endure.

The overseers seemed mean. I had the feeling that Jacob and his friends were mixed with both anger and fear at what their orders would be next.

I didn't understand why Jacob was assigned to the Crematorium, or what that actually meant, but this story read more as an excerpt of a long story, rather than a stand alone piece. So, I could only imagine that this crematorium was a place meant to destroy dead bodies which these people are probably killing.

I liked the action and suspense in this story. Jacobs friend showed him that he had a hidden gun. It made me think right away that he planned to kill the mean people who were giving them the orders. I especially thought this, when Jacob warned his friend that it was too dangerous.

You did a great job of adding the prompt words, "Let's get out of here", during this suspenseful moment. So many times in a story, authors try to rush the prompt in quickly in order to get it over with. You waited to the right moment toward the end.

I can assume that Jacob didn't get away, and that he was instead recaptured. It seemed the target was killed, but I can only imagine what happened to Jakob's friend. I hope he got away!

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.







My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .