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 Review #4742920 |
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| (4.5)| Hi Channie  ,This review is a part of "Game of Thrones" [13+].  Overall Impression: This is an interesting poem, dear Channie. It ponders the influences of nature versus nurture on who we are. That society influences us is undeniable, and yet if that were all that was to it wouldn't each of us be the same? We all have different tastes, and hopes, and dreams. Your poem does a good job of describing someone who feels out of place in the society they have been born and raised in. The pressures, the limits placed upon you, the way that it can make you feel like a misfit. It is natural, then, to yearn for somewhere else - somewhere where you feel that you belong. I well know that feeling and I think that many readers will be able to relate. The final stanza is very powerful because it asks a good question. It offers food for thought and is an excellent way to end the poem. On the technical side of things, this poem reads well. You make good use of punctuation and I like how you have allowed the capitalisation at the beginning of each line to depend upon the individual sentences within the piece. Again, well done! Suggestions: I do have a couple of suggestions, dear author. I hope that you'll find them helpful! Stanza 3:  living in my own little world in my head.Technically speaking this line is fine as it is, but I think the 'in my own little world' and 'in my head' are saying the same thing, so you could shorten this without losing the message. So living in my own little world or living in my own head would both work. Stanza 6: So what if I had been born in Scotland.I would be tempted to end this line with a question mark, rather than a period. My Rating: This is a well-written poem with a powerful message. I enjoyed the read. I did have a couple of suggestions, but nothing major. Therefore, I will give this item a rating of 4.5 out of 5. Thank you for sharing your work. Write on! Kit  The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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