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 Review #4743062 |
| (4.0)| Hi Joy   This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones" ! Disclaimer The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. What I liked:  This mystery of what happened to Marge's grandfather is entertaining. It hooked me at the start, and it kept me drawn in so I could find out the truth about what happened. I have to confess, there was a horrible moment where I thought maybe her grandfather would end up in Marge's art exhibit. I was glad he didn't. Although, his fate still wasn't happy. I wondered, in the end, if Marge and Daryl told the truth about killing the old man out of love. It seemed very convenient. I loved the way the investigator has a major crush of Marge, the accused. I'm sure this wasn't entirely professional of him. I suspect she probably wouldn't have been interested in him, though. I think he would probably have been too old for her. This line from the investigator brilliantly showcases his infatuation: "I took this case because of Marge's dreamy blue eyes and the sunlight flickering on her curls." This is while he is questioning her! All he can think about is how much he loves her. I love this description that the investigator gives when he discovers that Marge had a hand in her grandfather's death: "My heart has lost its music like a violin out of tune." It's so melodramatic, so over-the-top, but also really likely that it's what this guy would have felt. That made me chuckle.Suggestions: I got a little confused at the beginning. The story reads like an acocount from the investigator, and it starts by saying, "I look at Marge." So he is telling us what he observes, but then, things seem to switch to Marge's point of view. We see details of the policeman going to her office from her point of view. There is no reason she would have told the investigator those details. Unless I'm reading it wrong? That is possible. Parting comments: I enjoyed reading your story. It has a great hook and a subtle twist at the end. I really liked this story. Choconut    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 04/09/2024 @ 12:14pm EDT