%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4743309 |
 | The Woman in the Mirror  [18+] Short psychological thriller about a mentally distrubed woman and her bathroom mirror.  |
| (4.0)| Hello Emily Neal! This review is given on behalf of "Game of Thrones" . Oh, what a creepy story! If ever there was a woman with severe mental illness, this one definitely takes the cake. I love your creativity! The way you pen the 'other' woman in the mirror is excellent. The reader feels the impact the main character feels from the woman in the mirror.And if that wasn't enough, her pycho actions are taken even further as she tries to 'help' the man she loves. Whew! No one needs love like that. Remove, cover, or break all of the mirrors in this woman's path! But that would only help part of her illness. Is it the 'other woman' who makes her kill? She does help her lead to those actions, but I think she'd do without the 'woman in the mirror'. After all, there are tons of reflective surfaces where she can find her. A good psychological/thriller writing. Your title is perfect and drew my attention. Who wouldn't want to read this piece after reading your description?  Those sad dark brown eyes hidden behind green contacts are a dead give away as to what she’s trying to hide. Nice! Below are a few of my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.  A 20 something year oldYou should always spell out small numbers. A twenty-something-year-old  a sturdy poll a sturdy pole  She scoff’s She scoffs  one syllable one-syllable  sit in plushsit in a plush  knees and Comma needed after knees  cement and slowlyComma needed after cement  The doctors sitsThe doctor sits Thank you so much for sharing your writing with us. I enjoyed it!  WRITE ON!  Intuey"When you play the Game of Thrones you win, or you die." Cersei Lannister   The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
|
|||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
You have not yet responded to this review.