%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4743385 |
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| Hi  This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones" ! Disclaimer The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. What I liked:  Love it love it love! This first chapter is a fantastic tease for anyone who reads it. Everything about it just works. Your writing is, as always, first class, the story is exciting and intriguing, and the hook at the end of the chapter is really nicely slipped in. I want to know what has happened to Cassie. To her and Ricky. I did wonder about the genres of Paranormal and Sci-fi. I assume the paranormal aspect is Tony's clairvoyance? But, Sci-fi? Nope. No idea where that's taking us. Your characters are all distinct and individual. I had thought, as I was first reading, that Ricky seems quite sweet. But I'm not so sure now, in light of Cassie's disappearance. The setting is really well written, too. As soon as we entered the casino, the sounds of slot machines was deafening, and this really places your reader in the middle of the story land. I thought it must be hard to for Tony to exercise restraint in the casino. If I were him, I would have resigned and then played the slots, black jack, etc. He couldn't get in trouble if he didn't work for them. Suggestions: There is just one minor grammatical suggestion. "The security guards here wouldn’t find that suspicious at all,'” You missed off the quotation mark at the beginning of this. Also, there is one place, near the time we first meet Ricky, when you call him Rick. This threw me off a little because it is the only place you don't call him Ricky. I thought maybe this wasn't intended. Parting comments: I see you've written a few chapters for this book, and I will revisit them when I get the chance. If this first chapter is anything to go on, you could write an excellent book. Choconut    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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