\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4743396
Review #4743396
Viewing a review of:
Final Goodbye Open in new Window. [13+]
A love story
by Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ Author Icon
Review of Final Goodbye  Open in new Window.
Review by SandraLynn Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
House Florent Image for G.o.T.
 
GROUP
The Iron Bank of Braavos Open in new Window. (13+)
For G.o.T. Activity
#1994693 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon
"Game of ThronesOpen in new Window. Hello fellow writer. My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.
Title: Final Goodbye
First Impression: This is a heart-breaking, yet beautiful story of love. It is not easy typing with tears rolling down my cheeks. Alzheimer's is a devastating illness that steals everything from both the sufferer and their family. Most likely Helena would not know or recognize sorrow and regret. Sam however bears it all alone. I have known people struck/blindsided by this in their fifties.
What needs your attention: "She wanted to be neurosurgeon." Oops, the word 'a' is missing. may I suggest this in the second paragraph. "Helena was also attracted to him." Later when you describe Sam meeting the parents I suggest moving that 'also' to read " he planned to also be a chemical engineer."
What part I liked best: "Sam drank in every second of her arms around him like a sponge dropped into its first bucket of water." This is a fantastic sentence and a very apt metaphor. It describes this special moment perfectly. This piece of writing is saturated with emotion. There is the exhilaration of first love. There is the growth of deepening love. There is the thrill of graduation and establishing careers. There is the sorrow of learning they were infertile. There is the sheer helplessness, the futility interwoven amongst the perils of Alzheimer's. But above all the abiding love shines through. Helena and Sam knew and shared love.
Overall Impression: This story is poignant and bittersweet. Love is discovered, reciprocated, shared and then irretrievably altered. Sam and Helena seem so real and vibrant. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure! What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.
(1820 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4743396