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 Review #4744029 |
 | Monkeys; Naughty or Nice?  [E] Humorous incident with monkeys during a visit to Bali, Indonesia.  |
| (4.5)| This is an unofficial Game of Thrones raid brought to you by "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" :(Cause I quit GOT on 11 April 2024, but still wanna play the game unofficially  ).  Hey there, GailS   HAPPY 19TH WDC ANNIVERSARY from "Anniversary Reviews" !!! I enjoyed reading your experience about your trip to Bali and your encounters with the monkeys. You are really good at writing articles. This one is hilarious and an extremely enjoyable light read. The sentences are well-structured and well-edited. Descriptions of the places you've visited are vivid and sufficient to drive your main point: the notorious monkeys. I love how you narrated your initial perception and excitement for sighting monkeys then transitioned towards an understandable aversion towards them. Your article regarding your trip is also quite relatable as back in Malaysia, we have a tourist destination called 'Batu Caves' (direct translation: Rock Cave) and it is full of monkeys who have stolen stuff from tourists: Usually hats. Relatable stories always make your readers more engaged to your story and if not, they learn something new about monkeys. This is one of my favourite sentences in your article: We looked out over the expanse of a sapphire blue sea, empty for miles. Beautiful description. You've also demonstrated the perfect use of showing and not telling. When the monkey stole your glasses, you didn't tell us that it got stolen and stated the obvious. Instead, you showed your readers how you've felt the blow to the side of your head. Beautifully done. There is one part I didn't quite get from your article: Unhurt--not even a scratch except for a few chewed places on the ends of one earpiece (a great visual aid to illustrate this story later). Ermm... what does the words in bracket illustrate later? Para 5, line 2: squirrels. [extra space]We... But, after hearing my adventures, I ask you--are monkeys naughty or nice?
(I think here may call for an emdash or by the style of your article, a double dash --. Your call though.) Still, I love how you ended your article. It's a perfect ending to your experience that emphasised how your perception of monkeys have changed and why your friend replied so when you expressed your excitement about seeing monkeys. Mirroring her response is indeed the best way to end your article. I've fanned you and look forward to reading more of your articles soon. Do come online to newsfeed and say hello to us. We would love to get to know you more. | 13:45 (+8 GMT  , 12 April 2024, Friday |CC: 2860 The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for sharing this with us and Write On!  Elycia Lee ☮   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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