\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4744161
Review #4744161
Viewing a review of:
 
Image Protector
Weightless Open in new Window. [E]
The freedom of being me.
by Danial Lucas Author Icon
Review of Weightless  Open in new Window.
Review by SandraLynn Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
House Florent Image for G.o.T.
 
Image Protector
GROUP
The Iron Bank of Braavos Open in new Window. (13+)
For G.o.T. Activity
#1994693 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon
"Game of ThronesOpen in new Window. Hello Fellow Writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.
title: Weightless
First Impression: You describe weightlessness as being a freedom and you enjoy the feeling. Are your burdens, your troubles bringing you down, back to earth where you do not wish to be? You write " a slave to the ground." This is a powerful image. This relays reluctance and frustration.
What needs your attention: I am not sure I like your use of the word 'here' in two consecutive lines, but I understand it to be an emphasis. Repeating it twice gives it weight, intent.
What part I liked best: "Fate has found me here, hanging boundless here on the edge of forever." This describes the freedom of soaring above everything. You mention not having a timetable, or schedule. You can and do fly aimlessly within suspended time. Yes, that would be a freedom without a care in the world.
Overall Impression: This poem evokes feelings of yearning. "No loss to declare." To fly is to be free of regret. You seem to write of a goal, a purpose. "Determined and certain to fly again." Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.
91280 characters)DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review a a corrective action or otherwise.
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4744161