\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4744625
Review #4744625
Viewing a review of:
 Exploding Daisy? Open in new Window. [E]
Setting the record straight.
by SandraLynn Author Icon
Review of Exploding Daisy?  Open in new Window.
Review by Tiggy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*




*PenB* First Impressions:

I enjoyed the conversational tone here. The narrator is a very likeable character, and the way he talks sounds like he is sitting across the table and telling this story over dinner. The readers immediately feel drawn to him and are intrigued by the opening, wanting to know where he is going with this tale. He does, of course, take his time getting to the point, which makes the story all the more interesting.

Your word choices are exquisite. My favourite was when the narrator described himself as height enhanced but the entire last sentence was amazing as well and made me chuckle. I liked the descriptions of the narrator and I could imagine him well. The dragon, in my opinion, came a bit out of nowhere, and I went back a couple of paragraphs to see if I had missed something and there was perhaps a hint that he might be in this story. I would have like to see him introduced earlier, but that might just be me.


*PenG* Suggestions:

The story was very polished and I only noticed one error, a missing space after the period in this line:

tongue.Nobody

And I know that the convention for printing is to have no line spaces between paragraphs, but I believe that online (or at least on WdC) a line space is preferred - it makes it easier to read on the screen. Or maybe I just have bad eyesight *Laugh*


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

I enjoyed this story, told so delightfully by an unlikely narrator who doesn’t usually strike me as the kind of being who would smell the flowers, and that appears to be a good thing because him doing so had rather disastrous consequences. A fun read!




Come on in and join the fun!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/13/2024 @ 6:59pm EDT
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4744625