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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4745717
Review #4745717
Viewing a review of:
 
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Game of Thrones Open in new Window. [18+]
House of Mormont
by Chrys O'Shea Author Icon
         Review for entry/chapter: " Nobody" Open in new Window.
Review of Game of Thrones  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A "Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Gaby Author Icon Review


Storyline: Abby has just been released from prison and is ready to make a fresh start. She looks forward to the waitressing job in Bear Valley. It's winter, snowing and the parking lot holds only the bus waiting to take her to her destination. The journey takes her to a Roadhouse. She realizes how hungry she is, and can't wait to get inside. Once seated and spooning her soup, she sees a little boy with a purple backpack outside, no coat, freezing the wintery weather.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: *Thumbsupl*

Description/emotion: How you described the stench from the bus had me turning up my nose. Good job! You did well showing us what Tommy Lee looked like, too. Abby seems to have a good heart, giving up one of her possessions, especially one she needs, to help the little boy.

Overall Impression: Old Man Hawkins knows exactly what is happening, and even though he tells Abby Tommy Lee's story, she has a hard time believing it, which is understandable. Once she reaches the bus to board for the rest of the journey, she turns to see Tommy Lee with another parolee, and his little voice repeating the same words he'd said to her. That was confirmation that he's a ghost and wrapped up the story well.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

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