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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4745748
Review #4745748
Viewing a review of:
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Those Who Live in Grass Houses Open in new Window. [18+]
All the GoT stuff, 2024.
by Beholden Author Icon
         Review for entry/chapter: "Escape" Open in new Window.
Review by JayNaNoOhNo Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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This is a "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window. review!



Hello, Beholden!

*Checkb*Overall Impression:
This beautifully blends the mundane and the fantastical and effortlessly captures and maintains a gripping pace. It delivers action and intrigue that keeps the reader hooked until the end.

*Checkb*Title and Description:
The title sets the expectation of an urgent, possibly thrilling narrative, which the story fulfills with its plot of evasion and pursuit. It is also a wonderful play on words in which the character has escaped and is escaping.

*Checkb*Hook and plot:
As mentioned earlier, the entire story is a hook, and there is no portion that dissatisfies the reader. The initial scene in the parking garage instantly engages with its sense of mystery and imminent danger. The plot unfolds rapidly, maintaining tension and excitement. Integrating a video game character into the real world adds a layer of fantasy that is both intriguing and fits the required prompt in an unexpected way.

*Checkb*Characters and dialogue:
The characters are vivid and believable. The dialogue drives the story forward, revealing key plot details and character motivations without feeling forced. The interactions between the characters are engaging and contribute significantly to the development of the plot.

*Checkb*Grammar and Mechanics:
I found no problems. You've done a wonderful job creating a proper story, complete with chase scenes, with a restrictive word count. Your writing is clear, compelling, and strong. It's well-composed and engaging, as is typical of your writing style.

Oh, wait. You spelled "Tyre" incorrectly. It's T-I-R...*Bigsmile*

*Checkb*Final Thoughts:
This creatively ambitious story blends reality elements with fantastical twists, resulting in a highly entertaining and memorable read. Great work.

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

JayNaNoOhNo Author Icon*Smile*



My approach to reviews: "I'll Explain, but not Disclaim" Open in new Window.



The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and, therefore, do not necessarily reflect the group, activity, and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/16/2024 @ 10:36pm EDT
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4745748