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Review #4746427
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 It's just a sneeze Open in new Window. [13+]
To him, it's just a sneeze. To her, it's torture.
by Purple Holiday Givings Author Icon
Review by SandraLynn Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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The Iron Bank of Braavos Open in new Window. (13+)
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#1994693 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon
"Game of ThronesOpen in new Window. Hello fellow writer. My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.
Title: It's just a sneeze
First Impression: This is entertaining and believable. Married couples can and do irritate each other, intentionally, or not. Yes, a sneeze is a natural, uncontrollable reflex. We all sneeze sooner, or later. It can however be annoying. My husband tends to sneeze several times consecutively and never just a lone, single one. That noise is bearable. The blowing of his nose is something else. I refer to it as the goose call. Good for this wife sticking around and taping the noise level of her spouse's sneeze. He somehow does not hear its intensity and/or ignores it.
What needs your attention: "It was sneeze, that was it." I believe the word 'a' is missing before the word sneeze. When Renee describes the terrible pain of hearing Robert's sneezes perhaps you could refrain from repeating "my ears" twice in the same sentence. May I suggest you simply write "them" for the second set.
What part I liked best: I enjoyed the repartee between this couple. It is humorous and believable. The action of a cold shoulder as a rebuff also is a reality. The husband believing his wife is unreasonably shunning him rings true. He is sensitive to her reactions, but does not consider her reasoning. She sticks around to tape his explosive, high-pitched, natural function. To hear the truth is revealing. It is undeniable proof. I love this line." You know, you could break the sound barrier with that high-pitched sneeze you got going on."
Overall Impression> This little slice of marital bliss is amusing. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.
(1815 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/19/2024 @ 7:43pm EDT
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