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 Review #4746995 |
 | To the Rescue  [E] A faerie tale (November prompt for The Theme Contest - 1362 words)  |
| (5.0)| This is an unofficial Game of Thrones raid from brought to you by "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" :(Cause I quit GOT on 11 April 2024, but still wanna play the game unofficially.)    HAPPY 16TH WDC ANNIVERSARY from "Anniversary Reviews" !!! Awwwww! What a sweet, sweet story! I honestly thought it would end with Jimmy going out to play, so the ending did surprise me quite a bit, but that was the BEST part of the story! Good hook because you made your readers intrigued with what little Jimmy is up to. It almost sounded like the most ordinary thing—a kid going out to catch bugs, but then, it became special when grandma spun a tale of how these lightning bugs could be faeries. The pacing is great. It's slow, but not too slow, especially how Grandma ease into her story of the lightning bugs. Some impatient fella must be saying: Grandma, get to the point! But you know, grandma always speaks like how grandma does. Most of this story is told in a form of dialogue. It's not the easiest form of storytelling and especially with interrupting kids, you pretty much nailed it: telling us a tale in a tale. You balanced Show vs. Tell nicely. The showing was in the beginning when Jimmy fished out the mayonnaise jar and had holes poked in them. You too revealed them in the dialogues which is well-crafted because they did carry the characterisation of a older wiser granny and an innocent young boy. They are very likeable characters and by the end of it, I did kinda wish the story was true and you delivered! I certainly did not expect the twist at the end when granny was actually talking to a faerie (where the showing was most beautiful). It was a delightful surprise and I wonder what adventure granny had with a faerie. Will you be writing a pre-equal to this?  The conflicts in this story were pretty subtle: Man vs. Man- The faeries didn't like that Jimmy was going to catch their own kind in the mayo jar, faeries and Granny - Faeries were worried about Jimmy hurting the young faeries and confronted Granny about it, Jimmy was too rough when he played with the younglings. What I loved about the last part is you didn't make it obvious what was happening. We had to figure that out ourselves and writing it like that is an art in itself. Well done there. Title is fitting. Story A (external conflict) is about Jimmy catching the faeries. The main character in this story is actually the Granny and not Jimmy. I like how it's not actually that clear who the MC is. Indeed, this story is best told from a third person perspective. Story B (internal conflict) is whether it was the right move telling Jimmy the secret and if Jimmy is someone who can be trusted with a big secret like faeries' existence. What can we say? He passed the test.  If you were to consider how many read this story, Jimmy sure told a lot of people. Kidding. Again, I love the last part of the story when Granny had a conversation with the faeries. The description of how the faeries materialised, how Granny heard and interpret what they say, they are so magical that I want to be there! I really love the fairytale end to this story. It sounds exactly like how Enid Blyton would end her stories.  You are hitting me with nostalgia.  | 11:42 (+8 GMT  , 22 April 2024, Monday |CC: 3616 The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for sharing this with us and Write On!  Elycia Lee ☮ March Forward   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 04/22/2024 @ 1:21am EDT