Hi Webby, I'm back again and I hope you're not tired of hearing from me by now! After I read your last detective story, I remembered that you mentioned this chapter in the series was entered in a contest, and you did it slightly differently. So, I wanted to come by and check it out.

I read it last night from my iPad, but I wanted to review it on my larger computer, or my review would have looked like my seven-year-old granddaughter typed it! LOL

I knew it would be good, and I wasn't at all disappointed. To be honest, I liked the first storyline better, but this one was great! It's like comparing apples to oranges. They are both great but different and it comes down to what a person likes.

I was, indeed, very impressed at the wording in this story. I felt that you used way more 1930s lingo in this one, than the other one. You must have done so much research to learn those words. Really, it's like you wrote it in a different language. That was remarkable and it's no wonder that this story won first place in the site contest. Big congratulations to you.

I was also impressed that you used the pop-up glossary thing in this story. I can't remember what it's called..I wrote an article using that when it was introduced, but I don't normally see people using it. Funny story - Last night when I read this on my iPad, I couldn't get it off the screen each time I clicked on it. It's an iPad thing. But I liked to read where one was Lake Michigan, what copper was, etc.

Your 1930s gangster/slang wording in this story was abundant and very well done. I found that in just about every single sentence.
Your readers will feel like they're right there with Gloria, Lou, and Gary in the Chicago Speakeasy and places. They will read words like gumshoe, heist, and Abyssinia! I knew most of those words in this story, but I did walk away learning more than I knew before I read your story.

You thought up a great plot. Gloria's brother was set up to take the heat for killing a guy, but his alibi was that he had been robbing a jewelry store at that time, so it wasn't him who did the murder. Lots of twists and turns. Of course, Lou so cleverly solved the crime, and helped out people along the way, like saving poor Mona's life!

My favorite line was, "Ah, that Gloria. She’s a swell secretary for an old gumshoe like me. But the doll’s a trouble magnet." You have a way of writing that makes your readers come to adore your characters, Gloria and Lou.

As in your last story, this story had a happy ending, which I liked. Lou, Gloria, and Gary were able to celebrate a job well done. And, I felt that your story was well done!

I felt that it was a good touch to add an author's note at the bottom, explaining about Prohibition and the time period in Chicago.



The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.







My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .