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 Review #4747242 |
  This is a "Game of Thrones"  review!Hello, Mirage!  Overall Impression:You eloquently capture the sorrow of losing a father without a forewarning, presenting an honest and visceral exploration of grief. Form, Rhythm, Cadence, and Style:The poem's a simple yet effective structure that mirrors the abruptness of the loss you experienced. Its punctuation—especially the use of dashes—emphasizes the fragmentation of the speaker’s thoughts, reflecting the disjointed reality of grieving. If read slightly differently, the use of the dashes creates a speech patter that resembles sobbing. This stylistic choice heightens the emotional intensity, pulling the reader into the narrator’s inner turmoil. Content:The poem's emotional depth and straightforward narrative convey the shock and confusion that accompanies unexpected loss. The contrast between strength and sorrow is evident. A warrior disappearing into the night introduces a metaphor that recalls this theme, while the speaker's candid admissions reveal a wounded vulnerability. This juxtaposition strengthens the poem's emotional landscape and highlights the universal understanding of the complexity of family bonds and loss. Grammar and Mechanics:The sparse grammar and mechanics underscore the theme of sudden departure and unspoken words. I don't know if this was an intentional choice, but it works well. However, while the approach effectively conveys the emotional impact of the narrative, a slight refinement in punctuation could improve readability without sacrificing the style and message of the poem. Final Thoughts:You invite readers to reflect on the unspoken struggles of loved ones and the enduring impact of their unseen struggles. This poem serves as both a lament and a reflection, offering a shared understanding of loss. Thank you for sharing your work with us! JayNaNoOhNo   My approach to reviews: "I'll Explain, but not Disclaim" The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and, therefore, do not necessarily reflect the group, activity, and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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