\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4747250
Review #4747250
Viewing a review of:
The Secondhand Adventurer Open in new Window. [ASR]
Unofficial Fantasy Contest - 2/29/08
by Jeff Author Icon
Review by Jayngle Bells Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Image for Activity


This is a "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window. review!



Hello, Jeff!

*Checkb*Overall Impression:
The story is a delightful blend of fantasy and reality check. It highlights the romanticization of adventures versus their actual dangers and challenges. It was a fantastic read.

*Checkb*Title and Description:
The title hints at both the literal aspect of Silas’s secondhand gear and the broader theme of his romanticized expectations' secondhand nature. I recommend a stronger description.

*Checkb*Hook and plot:
The narrative is well-paced and engaging. It effectively builds up to the climactic encounter with the dragon, which serves as a turning point for the protagonist's understanding of heroism and adventure. It is both a cautionary tale and a poignant reflection on the values of ordinary life. Silas’s journey from excitement to disenchantment is crafted with a mix of humor and tension that effectively engages the reader.

*Checkb*Characters and dialogue:
Silas is well-developed, and his motivations and disillusionment are believable. The supporting characters serve their roles effectively by highlighting different facets of the adventurer culture. The dialogue is crisp and snappy, revealing key character traits and driving the plot without unnecessary exposition.

*Checkb*Grammar and Mechanics:
The unfolds in a logical manner and is well-paced. Your sentence structure and vocabulary create vivid scenes and emotional depth. Although not as polished as some of your newer pieces, it was written far enough back that it doesn't need to be revisited if you want to leave it alone.

*Checkb*Final Thoughts:
You've given us a compelling read that successfully subverts traditional adventure narratives to highlight the often-overlooked value of ordinary life. The story's blend of humor, adventure, and life lessons makes it a satisfying and thought-provoking tale for a wide variety of readers.

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Jayngle Bells Author Icon*Smile*



My approach to reviews: "I'll Explain, but not Disclaim" Open in new Window.



The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and, therefore, do not necessarily reflect the group, activity, and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/22/2024 @ 11:58pm EDT
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4747250