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Review #4747395
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by A Guest Visitor
Review of Ali and Mitch  Open in new Window.
Review by JACE Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Dragon* This Review was done on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of ThronesOpen in new Window.! *Dragon*


Hi ☮ The Grum Of Grums Author Icon .

I'm JACE Author Icon, and I have the honor of reviewing your offering "Invalid ItemOpen in new Window..

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer, and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

*Note1*
Overall Impression. Good morning. I've visited your Port before; it's nice to be back. This review is a response to a task set before me to review five members whose Usernames start with A, B, C, D and E. You are my B.

It was your cover photo that drew my eye to this offering. Your Brief Description hooked me in. How could I pass up finding out about a 40 year love story?

I tell you from the start, your story is not what I expected ... and that's in a good way. I liked your twist. (No, I won't spell it out here; readers read the story.)

Your characterizations of Mitch and Ali are endearing. I really enjoy reading how Mitch and Ali interact with each other. One thing: I thought the time between each losing their spouse and their downsizing to a retirement unit to be pretty long. I don't know whether children were in the mix to help with that passing of time, but two or three years is a long time to spend (alone) after having been married for so long.

I'm using my own personal experience for that observation. I was married for 33 years raising four children with my wife. Having downsized almost immediately after our divorce, I lasted about nine months before getting back in the dating scene. Yes, I realize not everyone is the same.

I found your dialogue to be very realistic and unforced. I could feel the tempo of it as if I was there listening.

*Writer*
Editorial Thoughts. I think you pushed your 18+ rating, but I can live with that. Perhaps you just caught me on a good day. Seriously, if you check out my background, you'll know I appreciate a good love scene. Your balance was good.

*Exclaim*
Technical Considerations.

         *Bullet* Maths should be singular.  “Yes, but you always were better at maths than me,”

         *Bullet* I may have miscounted your dialogue paragraphs after Mitch arrives for dinner. Each paragraph should represent a change in speaker; it seems off to me from who should be speaking as I read it. Beginning with:  “Like what you see, mister?” she giggled...

*Star*
My Rating.  4.5.

*Heart*
Thank you for sharing your offering.

Reviewed by

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