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Review #4748229
Viewing a review of:
 Trespassing on Paradise Island Part One Open in new Window. [NPL]
Superman experiences an amazon punishment.
by KingsSideCastle Author Icon
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  Open in new Window.
Rated: NPL | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A "Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Gaby Author Icon Review


Storyline: A superhero short story of Superman, the Amazons, and Wonder Woman. That is exactly why I chose this piece from your portfolio. I am a big Superman and Wonder Woman fan, and this just jumped out right away. I had a feeling as I was reading that Superman was breaking the rules for something other than a bonafide emergency.

Spelling/Grammar Issues:
away for the stressful life - from. The only other thing I'd point out if you give this older piece a fresh look is the use of the word immediately several times in a short span, as well as Amazon. Perhaps using Amazonian a few times to break it up.

Description/emotion: The scene was easy to follow and had me reading quickly to see what kind of punishment Diana would be dishing out to Clark, and you did not disappoint in that regard.

Overall Impression: The dialog was great and felt natural between Diana and her mother. I wondered if it were possible to add a few comments from the other Amazonians or some kind of reaction to Clark's confession to make it feel a bit more like he was tied up in front of more than just Diana and her mother. I loved the ending, which leads to the reader to speculate just what Diana has in store. This technically could go a few ways, but I have a feeling it's headed in a romantic direction.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

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