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 Review #4748428 |
| (4.5)   HAPPY 12th WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"   Greetings, Elena! I am reviewing this because today is your 12th WDC Anniversary!  First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest. The Positives/What I Liked Well!  I certainly was not expecting that! This definitely falls under the Horror genre! I felt your story flowed along very nicely. I liked the double-spacing as it makes it easier to read on a computer screen. I liked how you began this piece with Josie in the cemetery. It was a good visual, with her blond hair, blue eyes, and purple violets, searching for the grave of...Angela Todd London Mother to thousands of motherless children  Next, you let the reader know what life was like at the orphanage Josie grew up in—the summer outings, the gardens the children helped out with, the apple trees, the nutritious meals that were always well-balanced with fruits, veggies, and meat. We get the idea that Angela did the very best she could and was like a mother to all the children. Until...the skull was discovered by Josie while digging up weeds.  Suggestions/Comments to Consider--> I didn't notice any typos or grammar issues, though I was quite emersed in this story! --> I am wondering, though... After Josie observed what Angela did to the bodies of the tramps, how could she go to the cemetery later on in life and bring flowers to Angela? Josie never told anyone about her discovery of what Angela and her kitchen assistant (Holly) did, in fear of becoming meat herself. I'm guessing she no longer ate the meat.  So did she just accept what Angela did "out of love" for the children? Just curious. Why else would Josie visit the cemetery? Final ThoughtsYou are clearly a talented writer. The story kept me hooked throughout.  I'm not sure that explaining why Josie went to the cemetery is neccessary. It leaves the reader hanging, open for he or she to come up with their own conclusion.Nicely written! Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
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You responded to this review 04/28/2024 @ 8:12pm EDT