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 Review #4748767 |
 | The Little Roller Coaster  [E] A little roller coaster tries to be perfect for everyone.  |
| (4.5)   HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"   Greetings, Miranda Jones! I am reviewing this because today is your 17th WDC Anniversary!  Wow! Congratulations! First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest. The Positives/What I Liked I love this sweet little story! It has such a good message and you've presented it in a way that anyone, kids AND adults included, can see that it's so important to be yourself.   In the beginning, the little roller coaster in the theme park, didn't go too fast or too high. Many people told him he was the best roller coaster ever. The manager was happy, too, because he brought in so many people to the theme park that liked to ride this little roller coaster. But one day, when a big kid came and complained about how slow and boring the ride was, the little roller coaster changed because he wanted to please everybody. So he went higher and faster. The kids who used to like riding him, quit going on the little roller coaster. He was sad and missed those kids very much. The bigger, meaner kids weren't as nice. So the manager told the roller coaster that he can't please everybody. The roller coaster decided to go back to being himself again and the people who had quit riding him, came back. Now that he was himself again, he was very happy. I love this message! I can picture this story as a children's book or short story in a children's magazine. Theme parks are quite popular so that would also draw interest.  This is a great message for adults, too. Many of us try to please everyone, spreading ourselves thin. Great dialog and flow. Suggestions/Comments to ConsiderThere are just a few suggestions I'd like to bring up for your consideration:  Paragraph 2: because he brought all the customers. I think you left out a word here? because he brought all the customers in. Paragraph 4: The little roller coaster’s feeling were heart. heart should be hurt The little roller coaster’s feelings were hurt. Paragraph 11: You want your friends back don’t you? You omitted a comma.  You want your friends back, don’t you? Final ThoughtsAgain, this is a sweet little story with a great big message, for kids and grown-ups, alike.  Happy 17th WDC Account Anniversary! May you have many more. Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
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