You do a great job showing Avery's emotional journey after the crash. Once she realized what happened and that she might not survive, her thoughts immediately turned to her parents, showcasing her love and concern for them despite her own dire situation. This moment humanized her character and made her relatable to me. I've had my own brush with death—albeit not on the scale of an airplane crash, but a car crash which was still very scary and potentially fatal all the same. I woke up finding myself hanging upside in my vehicle that had rolled several times after being T-boned from a drunk driver. I nearly lost my life, and my initial thoughts were also about my loved ones rather than my own safety or escape. Of course, after a few moments, clarity sets in, and adrenaline takes over. By showing this realistic aspect of Avery's character, you immediately established her as a character with deep emotional connections. And because of that, I became sympathetic to her and anything that transpired after that point. This emotional depth added complexity to her character and made her journey more engaging.

The descriptions of the airplane crash and Avery's out-of-body experience were vivid and created a strong visual for me which drew me in and heightened the impact of the scene. When Avery described feeling like she was "slowly ascending towards the ceiling," I could visualize her out-of-body experience and feel the disorienting sensation along with her. By using such vivid imagery, I was easily immersed in Avery's experience, making your story more engaging and impactful. Your prose created a sense of realism which allowed me to empathize with her predicament.

Avery's character showed growth and introspection throughout the story, especially in her realization about her feelings for Dr. M. When she discovered that Dr. M was a married man, she grappled with her emotions and ultimately sought help from a therapist to overcome her feelings. This showed a depth of character and a willingness to confront difficult emotions. Your character development with Avery added complexity to your story. Through her journey of internal struggle and growth, she became a more dynamic and engaging protagonist.

Your story explored love, sacrifice, and self-discovery. These themes were well-incorporated into the narrative, adding meaning to the story and nuance to character actions and motivations. Avery's decision to let go of her feelings for Dr. M in order to respect his marriage was a powerful example of sacrifice and self-discovery. By exploring these themes, you made your story something greater and more impactful than just a simple narrative about surviving a plane crash.

The ending, where Avery found peace and eternal love in the afterlife, is poignant and provided a satisfying resolution to her story arc. By choosing to stay near Dr. M as an angel, Avery found a way to still be close to him without compromising his marriage or her own values. There was a sense of closure for Avery's character and resolved her internal conflict in a meaningful way. It also reinforced the themes of love and sacrifice that are central to the story, making it a satisfying conclusion to her journey.

The story's pacing felt rushed at times, especially in Avery's romantic interactions with Dr. M. Avery's rapid progression from meeting Dr. M at the hospital to developing strong romantic feelings for him felt somewhat unrealistic and abrupt. There is a phenomenon called transference—sometimes referred to as "rescue romance"—where a patient is so grateful for the doctor/first responder/individual that's helped save their life that they believe they've fallen in love with the person. If Avery is experiencing this, you might want to consider adding little embellishments that hint at this being the case rather than a full-blown, actual love interest for her character. You could slow down the progression of Avery's relationship with the doctor. Instead of having them quickly develop romantic feelings, you could introduce more scenes of them getting to know each other platonically, building a foundation for their eventual romantic connection. Another route you could take would be to delve deeper into Avery's emotional state and past experiences to explain her attraction to Dr. M. By providing more context and backstory, you can make Avery's feelings more believable and relatable to readers.

Some of the dialogue, particularly in the romantic scenes, came across as a bit clichéd and lacks authenticity. For example, when Dr. M told Avery, "You're making a big mistake, girl," it felt melodramatic and unrealistic. You could improve the dialogue with a focus on creating more natural and nuanced conversations between characters. Instead of relying on common catchphrases that can come across as disingenuous, give each character a unique voices and mannerisms. This should aid in making their dialogue more authentic and engaging.

The ending of the story, while giving some sense of closure to Avery's journey, felt somewhat abrupt. After going along on her emotional journey and sacrifice, her transition to becoming an angel and watching over Dr. M happened quickly and without much exploration of her emotions or thoughts. To improve the plot resolution, you could expand on Avery's transition to becoming an angel and her acceptance of her fate. By adding more scenes that delve into Avery's internal struggle and her ultimate decision to watch over Dr. M, you can create a more satisfying and emotionally resonant ending.

You have a compelling story with emotional depth and vivid imagery. The narrative effectively conveys Avery's passion for flying and her journey of self-discovery after the plane crash. The themes of love, sacrifice, and redemption are well-incorporated into the story, adding depth and meaning to Avery's character arc. The ending is poignant and provides resolution to her story.

Improvements in pacing, dialogue, and character development could elevate this story even more. The pacing felt rushed at times, the dialogue sometimes felt clichéd and lacking authenticity which detracted from the overall realism of the story. Additionally, Avery's feelings for Dr. M developed quickly and without much explanation, making her motivations feel underdeveloped. By addressing these areas, the story could be more engaging and emotionally resonant.

You have a strong grasp of emotional storytelling and have created a compelling protagonist in Avery. With continued work and attention to detail, this story will only grow in its strength to resonate deeply with readers and leave them with a lasting impression.

Write on!