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Given: May 9, 2024 at 6:39am
Length: 695 Characters |
627 w/o WritingML
Well!
That certainly was unexpected! You've proved just how much can 'happen' in a mere 100 words!
What I like:
1. The brevity
2. The way you begin - and then how you progress. There isn't much room for 'suspense' in this form, but it certainly was unexpected.
Suggestion:
You know what? Strange as it may sound, I think you can pack in more. At the first mention of 'crack' I knew what had happened. So some words between that and the last sentence could be put to better use.
Maybe, early on, that he was dreaming of something ... before the climactic action starts?
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