Raising Rabbits [13+] A dialogue only piece about getting endangered rabbits. |
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. THE STORY A woman brings home 3 rabbits from a conference and it causes a bunch of trouble. WHAT I LIKED I really appreciate it when a story can be told using only dialogue. That's a challenge. Well done here. DIALOGUE Dialogue drives the story. Good use of punctuation to communication inflection and tone of voice. DESCRIPTIONS Description is always a challenge with dialogue because it's implied, but here, there's enough to direction to let the scene play out in the reader's imagination. I especially liked: "What?!? You brought home a rabbit?" -- "Three." -- The reader can picture 3 rabbits coming home to a reluctant caretaker. SETTING TIME: Modern day PLACE: house This is something that is clarified for the reader. CHARACTERS A couple You can understand one's love for the rabbits and the other's reluctance. Well done. MECHANICS I did not spot any punctuation/spelling mistakes. PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS The title fits the story, and the opening pulls the reader right into the dilemma. Well done! HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" An Angel Army Review
|