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 Review #4753533 |
 | Winter's Ghost  [E] Well, the calendar says Spring has sprung.  |
| (4.5)   HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"   Greetings, Lou-Here By His Grace! I am reviewing this because today is your 19th Writing.com anniversary.  First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest. The Positives/What I Liked I sure connected with this, living in a state that could very well be described...as the last days of winter stubbornly cling in the harsh, piercing white light of dawn.  You include some wonderfully vivid visuals, such as An abandoned rusted swing idly sways and gales tumble shapeless winter ghosts. My favorite line, however, is in the breath of a whispered breeze. Love, love, love that!  Your poem flows nicely, and your rhyming is perfection! I enjoyed reading through the four quatrains, followed by a couplet. Excellent! Suggestions/Comments to ConsiderStanza 2, Line 4: slowly, winds through  slowly winds through Consider omitting the comma. Stanza 3, Line 2: long for sweet lemonade shade afternoons, long for sweet lemonade, shady afternoons, I'm actually unsure about this. You may have meant differently? Final ThoughtsThis is soooo good! I loved it. You are obviously a very talented poet. By the way, I browsed through your portfolio a bit and noticed you've done quite a lot of traveling through several states. I smiled when you mentioned Ajo, Arizona (we've been through there a few times!) But I did not notice Michigan!  If you ever travel through this state (where I live), I highly recommend checking out Pictured Rocks along Lake Superior!  Just saying. Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
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You responded to this review 05/24/2024 @ 9:25am EDT