%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4758358 |
 | Working  [E] I was working late on my latest case. But what I finally found wasn't what it seemed.  |
| (4.0)   HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"   Greetings, Elizabeth Rosenburg! I am reviewing this because it's your 21st anniversary here at Writing.com.  First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest. The Positives/What I Liked This is a nice little story of someone who—at first, I think, is trying to solve a case. Later, after it's revealed that it was mostly a dream, I learn that the character had actually been working (which is also the name of your title) on a creative writing assignment of a murder mystery. The character—now horrified—has only three hours left to write this uncompleted assignment. Yikes! This brings back memories of doing my homework at the last minute when I was in high school!  Suggestions/Comments to ConsiderI noticed you wrote this in 2005—19 years ago! My, how time flies, doesn't it? I've a few older items stashed away myself that I'm sure I could make some improvements to.  I've only a few humble suggestions to perk this up a little: If you added line-spaces between your paragraphs, it wouldn't appear to be one, huge paragraph at first glance, especially since you aren't indenting your paragraphs-- plus it would make it easier to read through. You also might consider enlarging the tiny font. beautiful wildflowers were --> Beautiful wildflowers were Your punctuation, spelling, and grammar looks great, though you do tend to use a good amount of exclamation points. Hey, I can definitely relate to this. Been there, done that. I was the exclamation point queen at one time.  I still have to control myself at times. I guess that just means we feel a lot of excitement when we are writing, right? Sometimes I keep them in place and other times I pry them loose. Final ThoughtsMy favorite part of this story was pink elephants and large balloons made of cauliflower and also A huge dog, walking on his hind legs was bringing me ice cold lemonade. Not only do these descriptions bring great visuals to mind, but they also remind me of a couple of my own dreams from when I was a teen...a pink gorilla laying in the sun and a tabby cat riding a bike. Hmm...I wonder if perhaps I had an assignment waiting for me back then. It would not surprise me. Again, Happy WDC Anniversary! Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
|
|||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "
You have not yet responded to this review.