Hi Anna,

This is a wonderful story. The tone is formal. It suits the story and plot very well. The reader is wondering what Jasper and Luellen will experience as they explore the universe. They will read to the last word to find out. The story is about a couple who take a magic carpet ride exploring the universe. The story is narrative as opposed to conflict based. This is rare in literature and very interesting. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. I did come across one structural issue that needs your attention:

1) In a few places you have neglected to completely enclose pieces of dialogue with quotation marks. You should remember to consistently do this to keep your writing clear for your reader.

The story is consistent in terms of point of view and tense. Great job.