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Review #4760239
Viewing a review of:
 
What I Didn't Do Last Summer  [E]
I had an assignment from my class! :-)
by Itchybarn
In affiliation with Tour de Ports Registered Cycli...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello, Itchybarn!

INITIAL IMPRESSION / OVERVIEW:

*Bulletg* You did a great job with this creative writing class assignment.

*Bulletg* Your writing kept me riveted and I read straight through to the end.



MORE DETAILED FEEDBACK:

*Bulleto* I don't think I've seen this kind of essay / creative writing class assignment before, and now I'm surprised. It's really interesting and reveals a lot more about a person than I would have guessed.

*Bulleto* I loved that some of the things that I presume you wish you could have done involve gifts for your Mommy and closest friends, and also included adopting "sixteen more cats." I can totally relate to the desire to adopt a whole bunch of cats. They're such wonderful creatures to share our lives with.

*Bulleto* So many of your (presumed on my part) wishes would be amazing! I would also love almost all of the things you mentioned, especially the house on Sanibel Island. I went there once and loved it. It would be so amazing to live there and spend time every day "finding conch shells every day and playing in the sand." *Bigsmile*

*Bulleto* I loved that your thumbnail picture for this creative writing assignment is not only summery but could possibly have been staged on a Floridian Island.

*Bulleto* I loved the ending. Probably the last line was my favorite because it made me relate to the leaf. Who knew it was even possible to relate to a leaf? You did! *Smile*

*Bulleto* I wonder if you also had an assignment of what you did last summer? I'd like to read that too. Though I just noticed that this was written in 2019 so you've had a few summers since then. *Smile*

*Bulleto* I thought the genres you selected were perfect for this creative writing assignment of yours.


IDEAS TO MAKE YOUR PIECE STRONGER:
In the spirit of helpfulness (and because of the rules of a review challenge I'm in), I have a suggestion to make your piece stronger. I'm having to dig deep for this as I really thought your piece was well done as it is though. So if you want to skip this part, no worries at all!


*Bulletv* The only thing I can think of, and I'm not sure that it's really even needed, would be to insert a full line of space between your paragraphs. That extra white space can make things easier on a reader's eyes and brain, and can make it feel more inviting. Of course, this could have been a required format, so you might not have been allowed that. But that's the only thing I could think of. You did a great job.




CONCLUSION:
*Bulletv* You have a conversational writing style and I greatly enjoyed reading your "What I Didn't Do Last Summer" creative writing assignment.

*Bulletv* Thank you for sharing your time, creativity, sense of fun, and writing with the Writing.Com community!


May love, joy and peace be yours in abundance!
PWheeler



*Biking* This review is part of my journey to complete "Tour de Ports. Come ride with us! *Biking*


Come ride with us!

Positive Hearts
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