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 Review #4760320 |
 | Death Happens  [ASR] Monologue - A person recounts a debate getting out of hand.  |
| (5.0)  Welcome to Writing.com!  Greetings, Dreamward Bound! I see you've only been a member here since July 1st! Wow, I am very impressed with how quickly you've adapted.  This is a wonderful community and I have a feeling you'll fit in perfectly.  First off, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you and leave the rest.  The Positives/What I Liked Your story flows along nicely. Your title is perfect: Death Happens  Not a big deal, right? You accidently kill someone, bury them, visit their secluded grave where you buried them (dug with your bare hands), and last of all, wish you wouldn't have buried them with that jacket on (which had been borrowed from you.) No big deal, right? This was a delightful read, which makes me wonder if I'm a little on the dark side, too! Seriously, you've done a great job with this. Thank you for the font size, too! It's much easier on the eyes than the default font here. I appreciate it, especially as a reviewer.  Your genres are great choices: Dark and Comedy. I couldn't help but enjoy your humor. You definitely have a knack for this type of writing. One of my favorites: Now don't judge. It was by definition, self-defense. He pushed me, I pushed back, they had it coming. Just an unfortunate placement of brickwork Suggestions/Comments to ConsiderI'd say the only thing to revisit, is perhaps adding a few commas here and there, for pause. Here are a few examples:  Paragraph 3: To my friend that obviously proved a cause worth dying for.  To my friend, that obviously proved a cause worth dying for. Paragraph 6: A few drivers stopped asking if my friend was alright A few drivers stopped, asking if my friend was alright Final ThoughtsI hope to read more from you in the near future. Your writing is a pleasure to read!Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
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You responded to this review 07/08/2024 @ 3:13am EDT