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Given: Jul 5, 2024 at 4:24pm
Length: 738 Characters |
734 w/o WritingML
THe last line was confusing to me, I don't understand what it is trying to say. There are several places where the word choice is not quite right.
cries should probably be cried
deceives should probably be deceived
delightens should probably be delights
The whole poem is a confused mess of past, present, and future tenses. My suggestion is to read it aloud to see if that is how you would say aloud what you are writing.
It is a good poem when it comes to expressing an emotion pretty consistently throughout. with a little polish and word choice changes it could be a really great poem. Please do not feel discouraged I like what you have started with this just polish it a bit more and it could really shine.
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