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Review #4760949
Viewing a review of:
 The Animal's Suspension Open in new Window. [E]
"...The suspended animal must seek to deliver aggressive resolve..." - a poem
by Tim Chiu Author Icon
Review by Rainy Day Sox Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Tour de Ports Registered Cycli...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
I like what it seems like this poem is trying to say. The attempt to use big pretty words to say it interferes with my enjoyment of it though. A lot of the flowery language would better serve this short poem as a simpler word with the same or similar meaning. Prolific seems particularly out of place to me but majestic and scaleable seem a little impersonal for this message too. They describe well telling how something looks or feels but they really do not make me feel it. they do not show me things. I would consider taking the thesaurus out and looking for more relatable language. If this were about nature or something less about internal experience the words you use might fly well but in this context they just push you away.

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