Hi Dreamward Bound,

This is a fantastic story. The tone is full of grief and confusion. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is wondering if David has anyone to turn to in his hour of need. They will read to the last word to find out. The story is about a man who loses his father after an illness and is trying to cope with the loss. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characterization is fully developed and believable. The story focuses on David, and he comes across as a real person. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. The story is well structured and consistent in terms of point of view and tense. You have accomplished a great deal in just a few words. Great job.