THis is a very emotionally charged piece. I think the scene at the top needs to be better incorporated into the body of the poem or placed within a dropnote so it doesn't distract from the flow of the poem. It felt disjointed going from the scene to the poem. I did not need the scene to understand the poem; the poem was much better written than the scene. I like the contrast in each of the stanzas between the two states. it gave a tension to the words and action to a poem that could otherwise just be kind of sad. They let you know nothing is all bad and the opposite that nothing is all good. It balances on the meaning of the words and the realities behind them making for a really good poem.