Hi StephBee,

I am participating in the Tour de Ports activity and selected your short story, "Grandma's Computer" to read and review. I have some thoughts to share which I hope will resonate with you.

First impression: The genres intrigued me because after over a year and a half, it is the first time I was to read a piece of young person's computer technology. The description was all it took to hook me. Being a grandma to mostly boys, my imagination was already running amok before I read the first word of your story. Your presentation is outstanding with a large text size, cool & out of the ordinary font style, and great spacing. It was easy on my new and improved, cataract free, eyes.

Content: The story was showing all the way, not telling. Having been in on the ground floor of computers, I was imagining what would my computer's content reveal to my progeny. The boys were differentiated by their strengths, not physical features. I felt like I knew them and could almost hear their voices exchanging conversation.

I related on the level of being an early user of a computer, as well as in the role of a grandmother to eleven. I would hope we have an element of surprise in our grandma arsenal. I thought beyond Dad's last comment, "The Great American Novel" and pictured Dad and/or the boys on a whirlwind book signing junket with the great novel with its record breaking book sales.

Suggestion: In the sentence, "The screen flickered a couple of times and then a massive blast of ones and zero’s flashed." The plural of zero is zeros without an apostrophe.

Thanks for writing a story with likeable characters, an original plot, and satisfying closing. It contained everything a great story should be including leaving me wanting more! Great job!

Write on!
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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .