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 Review #4763712 |
| ~~~ A Newbie Review ~~~ OMG!! This story is beautifully laid out. I worried a little how it would end, adding suspense and anticipation to this possible outcome. You've got a great way of handling descriptions, depictions of send that take a reader through the process to eventual end, which was really beneficial. And, obviously, this put me in the moment, as it built, more and more invested. I've read a lot of short pieces like this in the past that fail to deliver a punch at the end. You have a story that through dialogue I can get a sense of the narrator and with mention of age. It's easy to visualize the two other characters and when they meet, I imagine this can go in many different directions. This sort of patent ending was still a surprise and is the type of thing we root for when we read something like this. I did stumble out of the gate, because I think you forgot the second word, 'now'? I played it back and forth until I got it. Not knowing your writing acumen, I was concerned there might have been more gaffes to follow, but it flowed effortless and patient with concern to pacing. With a short piece, if restraints for some reason on length, you still manage to pack in story with the needed elements. You've got typical guy with the big truck, and he turns out to be fit and a bit menacing. That really helped to keep a reader glued to text, guessing where story goes, how it might end up. He is the villain we all want to one up. Some of the things mentioned, however, I would never recommend. A state trooper will advice when faced with these situations, remove yourself as quickly as possible. Once you're out of your vehicle, a lot of opportunities, especially with the described type the narrator is facing. But, shows no signs of fear, is calm, and we know traffic can't block exit forever. But, for anyone reading this, defense driving applies to road rage, too. When stopping short, I was a little worried rocks for brains was gonna rear end our protagonist. The element of surprise is a nice twist and a great moment. But, the surprises don't end there, as you have craftily introduced an intercedent that could be assumed to get away with whatever she wants. The beautiful are entitled, especially to a guy like him, it can be assumed. I was interested in seeing more of a reaction from truck boy. Here we have a beautiful woman who a reader can assume is going to get away with the act of tearing his door of the hinge of his truck with her truck. Loved the shared wink between the two gals. Makes me feel like all have each other’s back. It’s impressive and was happy to have discovered. This will be a good one to share with the wife. Glad to meet you and read some to get a feel for your writing today. I found this on the read and review pages, BTW. Sincerely, Brian WDC Angel Army Reviewer    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!"  .
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You responded to this review 07/17/2024 @ 12:05pm EDT