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Review #4764470
Viewing a review of:
Random Acts Open in new Window. [13+]
How random acts of kindness can change your life
by Ravenwand, Rising Star! Author Icon
Review of Random Acts  Open in new Window.
Review by Tiggy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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*PenB* First Impressions:

I liked this main character. Merry was kind and thoughtful, and she didn’t expect anything in return. She deserved the happiness she found at the end. What exactly that was, I wasn’t entirely sure. The story had an unfinished feel, or maybe you left the ending a bit open so the readers could reach their own conclusions where she was and what was going to happen.

There were a lot of interesting elements here. The elderly man, of course, who joined Merry for lunch at her invitation and turned out to be a bit of a mystery. And his watch that seemed to appear on his wrist out of nowhere and then turned up again in a display case behind the counter. Merry knew that she was supposed to have it even though it appeared to be broken. And then the park at the end, which wasn’t the park she remembered but an open field. I had the feeling that it was supposed to mean something, but I wasn’t sure what it was. Either I missed something, or you deliberately left it a bit vague.


*PenG* Suggestions:

I noticed a few small errors:

Merry.” he spoke my name like a song.
You ended the speech with a period so the next sentence should start with a capital “He”.

Three years later, were reunited with Dad
Just a missing word, “we were”.

Honey that is so nice of you!
I believe you need a comma after “Honey” to set off the direct address.

and it’s dial was completely black
You need “its” without the apostrophe, the possessive form of it which denotes ownership.


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

There were some great descriptions here. I liked this one in particular: His laugh was loud and melodic like a deep note played on a bass fiddle. Not only did it make the laugh very easy to imagine, it also worked to tell the readers something interesting or important about this character.

I think the ending needs a bit more closure. The story ended rather abruptly and while I understood that her life had somehow changed, I didn’t really get how. Of course, that might just be me, and it’s not to say I didn’t like the story. I thought it was well written and very unique, and I enjoyed the read.




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