Hi TomBadgerlock,

This is a wonderful story. The tone is full of confusion and embarrassment. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is wondering if Josten will find a way to open the book. They will read to the last word to find out. The story is about a young man who is trying to open a book with locks. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. I did come across a couple of structural issues that need your attention:

1)You have neglected to either double space or indent between paragraphs. You should remember to consistently do this to keep your writing clear for your reader.

2)In a few places you have neglected to begin sentences with a capital letter. You should remember to consistently do this to keep your writing clear for your reader

The story is consistent in terms of point of view and tense. Great job.