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 Review #4764913 |
 | The geocache  [13+] Two hikers stumble on a geocache site. They find something very dark and unexpected.  |
| (4.5)  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"   First Impressions: I need to start by showing my ignorance and admitting that I didn’t know what a Geocache was, so I googled it. 20 minutes later, I’m back to read and review the story  I’m not much of an outdoor person but it sounds really interesting. I suppose you never know what you will find - as the two people in this story find out. I wasn’t sure if this was a true story. The first sentence seems to indicate that it is, but it’s in a folder called Flash Fiction. It was a well written account of this particular event. I especially liked that part where John was talking about how he usually enjoyed hiking, ambling along and noticing things that drew me into peculiar places I imagined had not been visited in ages. That was a great observation and one people can only experience when they do these kinds of activities, somewhere out on their own where other people are not. There was some humour in those two paragraphs when he complained that this trip was different because his partner had a different goal and how tiring he found it. These paragraphs, for me, were very important for the character development of both characters.  Suggestions: The story is six years old and you might not be interested in editing it, but if you are, I would suggest including a brief explanation of geocaching so readers know what it is. You could either include a paragraph at the beginning or the end, or weave it into the story. I saw that you mentioned a man-made deposit marked on a map - perhaps that would be a good point to add a bit more detail.  Final Thoughts: The story isn’t finished, as you mentioned in the first sentence, and since it is quite old it probably never will be. It’s a shame because it was a good start and it would have made a great short story, or even a longer one. There were so many places you could have gone with it, and I would be interested in reading more about these two characters and what happened next.    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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