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Review #4765549
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 Libertalien Open in new Window. [ASR]
Some nonresident aliens don't pay taxes. Dialogue 500 entry.
by Jeff Author Icon
Review of Libertalien  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Jeff,

This is a wonderful story. The tone is full of anxiety. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is wondering if the alien will get exempt from paying taxes. They will read to the last word to find out. In the story, an alien, from Mars, refuses to pay taxes. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. You have left the description of character and setting to the imagination of the reader. This a fabulous strategy that keeps the reader focused on the conflict. I did come across one structural issue that needs your attention:


1)“... well, in that case, let me just call my supervisor and see what we can do...”-"well" should begin with a capital letter.

The story is consistent in terms of point of view and tense. Great job.

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 07/31/2024 @ 2:23am EDT
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