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Review #4765738
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Rated: | (4.5)
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Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

A simple and charming story about an elderly man who cares for the city’s cats and forms a bond with a young couple over their shared love of the animals. You have worked to provide us with a warm and cozy tale which builds upon itself in an almost saccharine way. Though perhaps corny or trite, it is a heartwarming story which any animal lover will enjoy.

I understand you have written this within the confines of 300 words for the Daily Flash Fiction contest, and this has restricted your telling of the tale to just that: telling. This is always a difficult thing for me to delve into, and I know you’ve heard it a million times by now, but showing and play-by-play dialogue is more engaging and authentic than a “fairytale” type of narrative, particularly nowadays with the rise of AI generated stories which I’ve observed usually avoid crafting dialogue. If you look at a couple of my flash fiction items (now I’m thinking I should gather 300 words or less into their own folder… usually if it’s short I’ll note that in the subtitle…) ok, where was I? *Pthb* yeah, I try to get down into the details of momentary interactions rather than doing a 50,000 foot overview. I know it can be challenging to think of a story in that way, especially if you have to deal with a longer timeline in a shorter word count. I just finished wrestling with that concept in my Rhythms and Writing entry.

Since the contest is no longer applicable, if you would like you can take this story summary (which come to think of it feels almost like an article in a feel-good lady’s magazine) and play with extending it and fleshing it out. Try asking yourself questions about the different scenarios: does Mr. Thompson have a conflict he needs to resolve? What are the goals, stakes, and obstacles? Is there a point of tension, a rise and fall, a quibble, a resolution, a lesson learned? You have hinted at the potential for conflict in the community, where the other people might not appreciate how he’s encouraging the cats to gather. Perhaps you could break that down for us and go a little deeper, as an example. Or perhaps the fundraising isn’t quite enough for what they’ve dreamed of, and then a mysterious benefactor shows up… but don’t mind me - it’s so much easier to fiddle with other people’s stories than my own *Laugh*

I loved this, it was sweet and satisfying. You have a knack for creating moments of poignant happiness and love, and I really appreciate that.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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