Hello Riley

My name is Dawn and I'll be reviewing your poem just for fun. I found it through the random read and after an initial stall, decided to check out the short poem to see what these bold word choices included and how this expression about the government would be showcased.


Initial Thoughts: I was a little hesitant at first when this came up for the random review with the title on sorries then the government aspect. I'm glad that I checked out the lines of the poem because it's a well thought out moment about a serious topic that many of us can understand. Some may not but that's part of the ability to speak out or state an opinion.

It can be difficult but this is also an important topic. Whenever someone gets mad that people speak against the government or puts forth protest, it is unfortunate because sometimes the overzealous are missing the point. We can be proud in our country but also express discontent. That is one thing that remains and is important in those freedoms discussed, or at least it should remain. Anyways... I can appreciate your thoughts and concerns with these questions.

This also reminded me a little of a poem about I think it is the nazis and such. The poem talks about how since they weren't part of the attacked minority of the moment, they didn't speak up since it wasn't about them. However, by the time it became about their identity or group, no one was left to stand in their defense.

Governments and churches have a bad history of making apologies many many years after the fact but the question is, what does that really do to solve the problems of the past?

Topic: A politic commentary can be difficult to put up because you don't know how people will react to the item. I'm a fairly open minded reader with a background that includes policy debate and communication theory studies, so my approach may be different than other readers.

Final Thoughts: Overall, this is well done at tackling a not so easy topic. The only part that stalls me a little, as the reader, is a very minor thing that I can't place why exactly. There is something about the word "sorries" that stalls me in the title and the first line of the poem. Nothing wrong per se. The spelling seems fine and all but just something about that word makes me pause or stumble.

Oh and I did have a question I almost forgot. Was this for a contest? I just ask since a few of the words were done in bold, which is a common thing when giving words to use from a prompt. Since they are still bold, I would have liked to sort of know if there was a reason. Doesn't have to be anything big, just maybe a little drop note at the bottom would help that way you can state if there was a contest/prompt or if you decided to do the bold for other reasons. Helps to let us know.

You could adjust the font to a bigger size if you wanted to help aide some of the other readers on the site who find the regular font difficult to read. But that one is up to you.

Either way, you have a nice poem here and I'm glad that I got the chance to check it out. Keep Writing!






My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .