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Review #4767521
Viewing a review of:
 Errands  Open in new Window. [E]
A poem about errands
by Detective Author Icon
Review of Errands  Open in new Window.
Review by Hrafnar Árgeir Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings My Fine Friend!

I can really see a very nice piece here! A tad of editing to free it a bit from unnecessary weight.



Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
It's an interesting piece planted in the drab, repetitive, within the mechanical labor of the simple mundane moments. Human moments
.


Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter (as applicable):
I see a lot of buried potential, rhymes and rhythms eager to blossom. I am no teacher much less a person capable of any kind of educated advise.


Artistic Voice and Imagery:

I felt the tedium of the moment from the first line, a little bit if tempo, more rhythm may bring the voice up to par with the imagery.


Suggestions:


I really like the piece, I has great potential, I suppose you probably had certain guidelines to respect if it is for a Contest Entry. Spend some time with!! Keep it up!!






SKÖL!!

HRAFNAR


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