Tear It All Asunder [13+] A supernatural being is stranded on a bleak world. |
HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" First Impressions: Ooh, that was an interesting story! I loved the bleak world and the being that had stumbled into it and was desperately trying to find a way out. The descriptions were excellent and you made it very easy to imagine the scene. There were some great lines - my favourite was this passage when he tried to open the door: “Are you crazy? You can’t just go and open a door like that. You have to open it a crack and take a peek first. Who knows what's changed since you closed it last?" Like it’s something everyone knows, obviously, but it’s such an odd concept to hear in such a matter of fact way that it really stood out. The “frant o’face” was another one. I didn’t understand what that was until he got there and then it became clear. Suggestions: The story was very well written and I only noticed one small error: I'm reminded it be will eons That should say “will be” instead of “be will”. Final Thoughts: I really liked the concept of this story. The narrator and his people, who are not dissimilar to us, were very interesting and I liked the way you described what he could do, together with the assurance to the readers that in a few hundred millenniums you will be able to do everything we can - that is, if you somehow manage to not destroy yourselves, as you seem bound to do. It seemed like a bit of foreshadowing since the world where he ended up seemed like a dystopian version of Earth. I might be missing a layer or two of this story - there was a lot more to it than I realised on my first read so I read it twice and picked up a few more details that didn’t seem important at first but then made sense later. A good story, I enjoyed the read! ** Image ID #2154080 Unavailable ** My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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