\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4768438
Review #4768438
Viewing a review of:
Birthday Candles Open in new Window. [ASR]
Flash fiction about a young boy whose birthday wish come true with frightening results.
by Horror Scribe Author Icon
Review of Birthday Candles  Open in new Window.
Review by Tiggy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*




*PenB* First Impressions:

That first sentence was a great hook. The readers immediately want to know why the boy was sitting in a room that had once been a kitchen - what happened to change that? At first, I thought it was perhaps a figure of speech and maybe the kids who had been at the birthday party had wrecked the place, but then I remembered that one of the genres was ‘horror’ so it was probably not that innocent. And it wasn’t. You had started near the end of the story, which I thought worked very well to pique the readers’ interest. Then you filled in the details, one candle at the time. I particularly liked how the boy showed hardly any emotions until the end. It made it all the more creepy that he wishes his entire world out of existence without giving it much thought.


*PenG* Suggestions:

The story was very polished and I only noticed one tiny error:

The birthday boy, wept
I believe you don’t need that comma.


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

There weren’t many descriptions - as this was flash fiction, it was almost all action, and the readers didn’t get to know much about the boy or the setting (which disappeared anyway, and the only important thing about it was that it did). There was enough so the readers got a good image of everything, especially the bleakness, and I loved this line near the end which summed up the story: A small voice swallowed up in the silence of oblivion. The light of creation the boy could see on the horizon was very intriguing as well. Overall, I thought this was a great story, and I enjoyed the read!




** Image ID #2154080 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4768438