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 Review #4769298 |
 | The Last Train Ticket  [ASR] Change of plans for the citizens of Maglev  |
| (4.5)  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"   First Impressions: You have interesting dreams! The concept of this story was very unique, especially because you didn’t say what actually happened in the Days Before that made these people live on a train that never stopped. They were the elite, and they felt safe in the world they had created for themselves while fearing the outside. So this step of allowing other people onto the train was a desperate one, and it wasn’t surprising that it met with resistance. Well, there was one person who was all for it, the main character who had ‘met’ with a young man from the outside world every day and was very excited about getting him to join her. I felt I got to know Tangent quite well. She lived for that one moment every day, those precious few seconds when she got to see him, always in the same place doing the same thing, and they waved to each other and then went on with their own lives until they got to see each other again. It told the readers a lot about her.  Suggestions: I noticed one tiny error: pulled out a stubby piece paper. I think there is a word missing, “piece of paper.”  Final Thoughts: I’m always curious what inspired a tale so I was very happy to see that you not only said which contest this story was written for but also quoted the prompt and gave the readers a bit of background to the story. Maybe I’m just nosy, but I find that kind of information interesting  I liked the descriptions of the broken country near the beginning of the story. I assume that some kind of disaster had happened that forced some people to hide on the train and make sure it never stopped to avoid the dangers on the outside, but it sounded like nature had reclaimed whatever it was before and it actually sounded quite beautiful. Maybe not for the people who lived outside and had to deal with the wild animals and other potential dangers! I thought this was a very creative story. ** Image ID #2153781 Unavailable **  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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