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 Review #4769864 |
| (5.0)| Greetings Dave Ryan  ! I am sending you a review of your poem, "Forced" . I do hope you find something that is interesting or helpful to you. WHY I AM REVIEWING THIS ITEM: I am reviewing this out of friendship and a show of support. IMPACT: This poem packs a big wallop, right from the first stanza. This isn't the first accounting of sexual assault I have read, but I think it might be the most brutally honest.  THEME AND CREATIVITY: I think that poetry was the correct outlet for telling this horrific event for you. You didn't leave anything to the imagination, it isn't meant to be an erotic teaser. At the same time, you wove imagery from your surroundings to accentuate the emotions, like the garbage bins and the clouds covering the sun. The contrasts you show between your experience and the experience of the person assaulting you is really powerful. TECHNIQUE: A free verse poem makes the most sense, giving you the freedom to play with the form a bit and not be tied up with a rhyme scheme. I found the part where you are talking about time seeming to last forever yet everything was over in a few moments intriguing with the space apart lines. You bring your reader right into that time paradox and the torture it was. NUTS & BOLTS: These are odds and ends that I present for your consideration. My goal is to help make your writing stronger, but it is up to you what will work for your story.I wasn't sure why you did not use capital letters at the beginning of the sentences. It is consistent throughout the poem, so I was sure it was purposeful. Was that to show a bit of disrespect? If so, kudos.  WHAT I LIKED/OVERAll IMPRESSION: "Liked" is a tricky word here. I respect that you wrote this poem and were able to bring out what happened so powerfully. I appreciate how hard that must have been for you. I hope it was therapeutic in its way and aids in your healing. I admire that you were able to incorporate poetic elements into the telling of an experience that was anything but poetic. 
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You responded to this review 08/16/2024 @ 4:58pm EDT